I put a deposit down on a car. It's a good deal. A reliable car. It's cute. I like it. It's terrifying. Makes everything feel very, very real. I now have a phone and a car, two absolute necessities in Colorado. My resume is out. I should be working on grad school essays, but I am having a hard time doing figuring out what I want to do. I feel like my essays should include some sort of implied life direction. Not feeling much of it right now.
I'm not sure what it is. Things seem just a little too easy right now. Maybe it's still too soon for it to not feel like vacation. There is a job opening, doing almost exactly what I was doing before I left. I almost applied for it and then I couldn't. I'm not sure why, I need a job. (refer to above purchase). But, I think there is a visceral fear in me of sliding too easily back into what I left. I told a friend that yesterday, and he said that it's impossible. I've changed. Things here have changed. Not possible. Yet.....
Down time... I have room and board, and probably quite a while before my sponging credit expires. I guess I should use it. Just sit for a while. Hang out with my family, my friends. Just be home.
I'm not sure what it is. Things seem just a little too easy right now. Maybe it's still too soon for it to not feel like vacation. There is a job opening, doing almost exactly what I was doing before I left. I almost applied for it and then I couldn't. I'm not sure why, I need a job. (refer to above purchase). But, I think there is a visceral fear in me of sliding too easily back into what I left. I told a friend that yesterday, and he said that it's impossible. I've changed. Things here have changed. Not possible. Yet.....
Down time... I have room and board, and probably quite a while before my sponging credit expires. I guess I should use it. Just sit for a while. Hang out with my family, my friends. Just be home.
No comments:
Post a Comment